written by Odilichukwu Frances May 1, 2020

Did you know what I missed most this Easter and Lockdown? 

It’s that I didn’t see clown (horrible) attires that trigger unending laughter any time I remember the design, courtesy of the tailors and seamstresses who are supposed to clothe us in fitting attires for events. 

Thinking about that now, you also missed that especially when you are not the person in the attire. We have all had a fair share of that, at least once. 

To usher you into the moment we decided relive a few moments. Grab a drink because it’s INTELLECTS and chill time!


I was to go for Kay’s wedding, then I decided to sew a style I had admired for a long time. I relocated temporarily to Anambra state from Cross River, so I needed a new seamstress. I found a particular shop attractive and it seemed to be worth the try. After a little chat, I showed her the style and she assured me it was a done deal, I gave her my material and paid. Confidently, she called me to pick my dress. What I saw was like the case of ‘what you ordered versus what they delivered’. I wore it that way. 


Last December, I was only interested in having something to wear for my parents Chieftaincy Installation. I trusted this seamstress with the only attire I needed for the season. The day we were to travel to the village, I went to pick my dress. The woman had not even cut the materials (perhaps she was planning to help me resell). I just wore a jean and top in low spirits. Till this day, even the shoe I bought for the attire is lying untouched. 


I fell in love with a fabric I found in the market, so I bought and thought to add a new dress to my wardrobe. I went to my seamstress and gave her a style as usual. The day I went to fit and pick my dress, we exchanged pleasantries as usual and she asked if I came visiting since I had no material. I laughed it off, meanwhile at the entrance was the same material I gave her but a different style and size. To cut the long story short, my seamstress used my material for another client. What manner of act is that?! 


My birthday was on a Saturday last year, and same day was a friend’s wedding, and I was in the league of his groom’s men. I looked forward to the day in high spirit. I decided to gift myself a customized suit which I will be wearing to the wedding. My tailor gave me an assurance that all is well. For some reasons we agreed I will pick it the early that morning; I wish I could see the future because that was a real wrong decision.  So, on Saturday morning, while the boys were teasing our friend in church, and the wedding was going on, I was dressed in a casual wear, sitting in the tailor’s shop and waiting for him to finish my suit because going home was going to get me stuck in traffic. 


I belonged to the girls’ guild and we were preparing for a march past to celebrate the girls’ week in the church. Marching was an activity I enjoyed and I was very good at it, so I joined the girls’ and was behind the flag bearers but I needed a uniform. The uniform was a white shirt tucked in a green skirt, a cap and a tie. Every member had one, I had one but my white shirt was old; so I got a material and took the shirt as a sample to a seamstress that always beckoned on me to patronize her. A day to the march past, I went to pick my shirt, it looked beautiful but the collar was nothing to be a seamstress for. My friend encouraged me to try it on with the tie. I almost choked that day, looking like a ram being dragged to church for a child dedication. The group provided with a shirt I could use that evening. 


It happened sometime last year. I had a function to attend and needed to be nicely and stylishly dressed for the occasion. Nigerian stylists and their usual disappointments, I wasn’t going to take chances so I got the fabrics and gave them to my seamstress ahead of time. I made sure to call from time to time to supervise the making of my outfit and for each call, my seamstress gave me an assurance that all was going well. The due date for collection was here, I was in her house by 9:30pm to meet the highlight of the day; she had just finished cutting my fabric! And was yet to sew it!! I felt my world crumble because I had no alternative wear and I had to leave for the neighboring town very early the next day for the occasion. I left my seamstress’ place after much arguments but of course without my clothes. 


A certain seamstress convinced my mum to convince her and my material was the first trial. First, she missed the style, but my sisters said it wasn’t so bad, so I wore it to granny’s house we had a little family event. After the meal, the dirty plates were quite much so we had to wash them outside; my cousins (peers) and I.  As soon as I bent to wash the plates, I heard a cracking sound, it was my dress. I stood up to see the part that covered my stomach was torn. I would have been better off wearing a crop top than that dress. I told mum patronizing that woman was going to be an error and it did happen. 

We draw the curtain here! 

Make sure your fashion stylist is an assurance not an insurance except you want to make it to The Intellects’ Magazine screen in the next episode. 

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Onyi Munonye May 1, 2020 - 11:17 pm

Wow, very hilarious! Good job Odili.

Odilichukwu Frances May 2, 2020 - 8:21 am

Thank you

Dennis E Orji May 1, 2020 - 11:24 pm

Wow!!! This is mind blowing, let I kept on reading and reading.. .lol thanks a lot

Odilichukwu Frances May 2, 2020 - 8:21 am

Thank you

Mandy May 1, 2020 - 11:51 pm

Interesting……. that part where the cloth went zaa lol.. really cracked me up. Nice one odili! Keep up the good work.

Odilichukwu Frances May 2, 2020 - 8:20 am

Thank you dear

Paul Fezy May 1, 2020 - 11:52 pm

Some seamstress andTailors can be so annoying…
Nice work Odili,your writeup was interesting. Wanna read more.

Odilichukwu Frances May 2, 2020 - 8:19 am

Alright dear. You will read more

Josh May 2, 2020 - 12:14 am

Perfect reflection of tailor characters… Nice one frances, keep it up

Odilichukwu Frances May 2, 2020 - 8:18 am

Thank you.

solomon May 2, 2020 - 12:17 am

I really felt pity for vera …I would advice anyone whose cloth is with the tailor to pay them a little visit cos those guys are making nose mask with your material and if your material is beautiful then am very sorry cos its gonna end in tears..

Odilichukwu Frances May 2, 2020 - 8:17 am

Not this period o!

Maryjane Chinazam May 2, 2020 - 12:35 am

Lol! Euphemia’s story had me laughing so hard 😂😂. The tailor even asked if she had a material in her shop😫. Some tailors just won’t make heaven. Nice Compilation Odili 👏👏👏

Odilichukwu Frances May 2, 2020 - 8:12 am

Seriously! Thank you.

Shaddai Johnson May 2, 2020 - 1:10 am

Hilarious 😂🤣😁😁well My fashion stylist is always on point@Lamystitches…

Odilichukwu Frances May 2, 2020 - 8:11 am

You’re in luck now.

Googoo May 2, 2020 - 1:44 am

Nice One Odili, I couldn’t help laughing while I read the stories. This is typical African tailors/seamstresses for you but the good part is that we have good designers in the recent times, so we just have to deal with being patient and collecting our clothes or paying exorbitant prices in some cases, but we are sure of getting exceptionally fine designs and neatly tailored clothes as well.

Odilichukwu Frances May 2, 2020 - 8:11 am

Yeah, some deliver and thank you

Patricia May 2, 2020 - 3:34 am

Lol, hilarious recounts! It seems seamstresses and tailors are the same. They’ve a PhD in Disappointing

Odilichukwu Frances May 2, 2020 - 8:08 am

Wow! Looks like you have had a fair share.

Paul Lavy May 2, 2020 - 4:32 am

If lawyers are liars, seamstresses must be their parent. You’d think they only do it in Kenya. I had to wait for a whole month plus to have some dude do me a blazer! And when it came out,terrible was written all over it!

Odilichukwu Frances May 2, 2020 - 8:08 am

C’mon they can’t be that bad

Maureen May 2, 2020 - 5:13 am

I really feel bad for euphemia and I can totally relate with the story.
During my nysc days, I decided it was a good idea to learn tailoring. One fateful day my madam had cut an A shaped dress and was already sewing the dress when she discovered that the customer wanted a flare dress. Can you guess what she did?

Odilichukwu Frances May 2, 2020 - 8:07 am

Did she switch materials?

Poet Valentine May 2, 2020 - 6:23 am

The total cast of faith and dependence on some seamstresses in this part of the world is simply a juggernaut on the verge of explosion.
For a couple of times in the past, I’ve been made a cheap fool by their uncanny deceptiveness. Thus, I’ve learnt to be a step ahead of them. That’s the only way out!

These set of people are complete insurance, please! Save the ‘Assurance’ for Davido’s fiancee.

Odilichukwu Frances May 2, 2020 - 8:06 am


uc May 2, 2020 - 6:55 am

tailors, mechanics and carpenter behave almost the same way.

When you decide to look for another person, the new one will be efficiently effective for just few weeks/months before they start showing their real color.

Odilichukwu Frances May 2, 2020 - 8:04 am

That’s true though!

Dumebi May 2, 2020 - 9:12 am

LOLS I can imagine, luckily have not had any issue well I rarely sew but whenever I do, I tell them I need it 3 or 2 weeks before d day I need it.. Am a terror to tailors

Odilichukwu Frances May 8, 2020 - 6:35 pm


Chinazo Cynthia Mmeje May 2, 2020 - 9:14 am

I can relate to Vera’s story. Tailors and seamstresses can do and undo. They’re full of disappointments and terrible stories to back it up. We’re at their Mercy sometimes. You’re doing well Odili, Nice one.

Odilichukwu Frances May 8, 2020 - 6:36 pm

The helplessness is something else

De Win May 2, 2020 - 3:57 pm

I just gotta laugh out loud.

Odilichukwu Frances May 8, 2020 - 6:38 pm

Go on and laugh.

Chief ogbujianyim May 3, 2020 - 8:34 pm

Odili this is a good work.God will reward you.chief ogbujianyim.

Odilichukwu Frances May 8, 2020 - 6:35 pm

Thank you Chief Ogbujianyi

Opara Onyinyechi May 3, 2020 - 9:37 pm

Those people are something else.
If I have something to do on the 28th of June, I tell my seamstress it’s 1st week of June.
I don’t need 💔. Lol

Odilichukwu Frances May 8, 2020 - 6:40 pm

That’s a really good way.

Obielu uchechi May 24, 2020 - 8:37 pm

Wow… I guess am not the only one who has had an issue with tailors..

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