Featured

 

 

Hello! It is another season for Intellects and Chill and this episode is mouthwatering. Remember the first episode was about the unfulfilled promises of tailors and seamstresses, as well as the amazing styles.

You will agree with me that there are lots of burial ceremonies and wedding parties these days, and the bridal train or asoebi is an important spice in these events. However the spices do not make themselves, real people make real efforts to bring this spice, and we will be talking about that spice in this post.

Ladies and men buy materials for the asoebi, or bridal train, or men in suit. While the both genders are involved, for some reason that of the ladies seem to be more popular.

Notwithstanding, the question is do you think Asoebi materials (as it is popularly called nowadays) should be sold or given free of charge (FOC)?

Personally, I think it should be given FOC!

Here’s what others think…

 Spoiler: some think it is okay to sell, for some there’s an element of greed and witchcraft.

(Grab a popcorn for this read)

Wills

Yes it’s ok.

I believe for an asoebi to be selected by the bride, it must have gone through scrutiny and approval by her bridal train. Meaning they know the quality of the material and the cost.

Also, the choice of material and cost depends on the economic class of friends selected for the bridal train. Those who can’t afford it can join other units to support their friend.

It is not a big deal.

Jane

Wahala no dey finish oo.

Well Asoebi is good for both sides and just for a few number of persons. But if you like rainbow on your D day let your friends form a committee and decide from your list of colours then  sort themselves out in terms of buying materials and matching accessories with this whoever can afford it will buy.

As for the bride selling her Asoebi 3x the price she got it is witchcraft…I mean is better I don’t sell my Asoebi and get reasonable gifts and cash from friends than I sell n get glass cups as gift.

Thalia

You see this aseobi own

First off, as my friend, you no patronize me, or have never, or have never housed or fed me or supported me one way or the other

Please don’t bother to near me😒

1. It is not a bad idea to sell asoebi material to if u can’t afford to buy for a few. Most ladies like plenty asoebi cos it’s colourful but I rather have just 5 supportive hyping friends than the ones that my smile won’t matter to them
2. Check your class of friends, even u check yourself, the price u r putting, can u comfortably pay for it without taking from runs or sugar daddy

2b. If you know lace will be expensive, simply use ankara, it’s even cheaper to sew, u see Nigerian tailors, another Wahala with their prices when it comes to sewing lace

3. I see it as supporting my friend to make her day colourful, Omooooo if ur price pass me and u no book me for makeup, I no Dey buy, I no Dey fear person face,  I will just tell u eyah I’m booked for that day😏

Lindsey

I don’t feel good about it, especially when it’s ridiculously expensive and the bride equally feels entitled to it and try to guilt trip you. They’d dictate everything you’re going to wear down and how you’d wear it, from style down to your accessories.

On top of one day wedding o.

😂 I say I no do hair say I no fit do packing gel, na natural hair I carry, so e no go last. Aunty say make I relax my hair. I come ask am weda na me and am on top bed for wedding night. Na so she go tell her mama, dem come call me family meeting! 😂

I’m all for glamor and glitz but, any of friends (friends o) that knows me and asks me to come and buy asoebi that is more than 5k is a serial killer and I should know enough to avoid that person!

When I achieve icon stat and we’re rolling in dollars, then we can buy 50k asoebi. Nobody should stress my bank account biko.

On a reals tho, there are lots of other ways people that are truly your friend can support your wedding, I’m of the opinion that if you can comfortably get your material for 3 of your friends, then those 3 should be on your train, the rest can decide to buy the general material or show up in the color of the day and everyone’s happy.

I for one won’t want a picture perfect wedding where all of my friends low-key resent me for making them go through unnecessary expenses.

 

Ify

So I think it is about your circle of friends. Understanding people around you and being considerate is the key because the main objective was to support the bride but seem we are deviating from that by using it to make money.

I personally think that people should support their friends but it should not be limited to only buying of Asoebi, just like men do COMMITTEE OF FRIENDS and they come together to deliberate on how best to help in a friend’s wedding and not limiting it to a specified area which is buying of clothes that you might not wear after the said wedding. As a friend if I consider your Asoebi expensive then will go ahead and buy an affordable gift for you instead and wear what I have to your wedding.

In conclusion, Asoebi is good when done with the sole aim of supporting a friend and not as a means of making money (it should be affordable) and supporting a friend should not be limited to only buying Asoebi because there are other ways.

I’m being supportive when I leave every other thing to be there on your big day.

 

Cheederah

But why would someone sell asoebi?? I think is better you give freely or give at the price which you got the material than adding unnecessary cost to someone.

Mackup

Omo I just believe that your wedding shouldn’t be a means of generating income. Asoebi materials should be given to the bridal train to go and sew. Your husband buys material and gives you then you sell it? Most times these ladies don’t even have the money for these materials but because they don’t want to disappoint the bride they end up making sacrifices to buy the said materials. But women would always tell the man not to interfere as regards whatever she chooses to do with her Asoebi material and for peace to rein you as the man just have to let go. But in my own opinion, I don’t encourage selling of asoebi material.

Gentle heart

I don’t think it’s ok to sell asoebi cloths, allow people to support you the way they can, some can volunteer to pay for their clothes you can also give free to your friends that can’t afford it. The most important thing is that they are there for you and sacrificed their time to support you on your big day, wedding is not a business extorting people in the name of asoebi to me is greediness, I don’t pay for such

Kamilla

Everyone is right with their answers.

I’m just going to point out a few things that we shouldn’t do both as the person hosting the event and as an attendee.

1. Stop making your asoebi girls slave for you… The main reason they are there is to add color to your day, cheer you on not to help you cut salad and share food… It should be solely out of their own desires

 

2. Stop hustling to buy asoebi that is beyond your paycheck, if you cannot afford it, politely decline if it’s a distant friend and finish your close friend who knows your pocket size… Most times it turns you to a bitter person or an unconcerned individual.

You come to your friend’s wedding with your face like shit and pressing phone, killing everyone’s vibe because the money dey pain you or you are not even interested in the bride’s welfare or if she is happy or enjoying her big day because you have spent so much money on the asoebi so you must catch big fish and not allow the money waste.

In your doing, be wise… Tankio!

Sparkle Beauty

In my opinion, it’s okay if you can buy the asoebi for them and they sew it themselves. You should be able to provide a comfortable place for your asoebi.

Ogoo

Well, it all comes down to understanding and being very considerate.

I am always of the opinion that, you have to live within to your means and budget.  Selling of asoebi to me, is not totally wrong. Of course you do not put a knife on anyone’s throat to buy it.

If you have  circle of friends that are still struggling to get their life in order, it is only kind of you to bring down the price to what they can afford or if you can, give it to them FOC and they cater for the making/sewing.

Adambano

There are cheap materials you can buy, even if na Ankara just give them or if you no get much money just sell it to them at the same rate you got them simple, even if you want to add okay make e be waybill money

Stanley

The real question is, what is the meaning of asoebi? Who invented it and why? Must it happen? What connection does it have with the concept called marriage? 🌝

McAnelka

1. Asoebi is a uniform to identify with your guest at a particular event
2. What if I say that practice came into being during colonization.When the Portuguese came to enslave our people, they give the captives uniforms to know where to belong and to differentiate 9ja salves from slaves of other country (fabricated).
3. Must it happen? Yes… Cos today, it is now a means of generating income from party guests. “You won’t just come to my wedding and eat without contributing to it”…lol.
4. Not just for marriage, it is now for almost every ceremony 🏃🏃🏃

 

Shuga

My own is, don’t plan your wedding in another person’s pocket. You’ll buy materials and add extra 10k (ten thousand naira) because you want to use the money to settle DJ or photographer. Everything must not be a money-making avenue

Chiniee

Thank you for this question.

In my honest opinion, selling asoebi is not bad… but where I draw the line is when you try to make money from your friends/ acquaintances through asoebi.

You see someone that will buy material at 5k and come to sell at 15/20k, is this not evil? Some asoebi materials are not worn past that wedding day.

There is no amount that is too little or too much, but sell with Jesus conscience biko and put yourself in the shoes of your friends, if the tables turn, will you buy what you’re selling at that price?

Personally like I said, I have no problem with buying asoebi, I do it with joy especially if you’re my close friend but don’t try to cheat me off  my hard earned money in the name of asoebi.

There are cheap Ankara or lace you can buy and give out for free sef. My sisters gave their asoebi to their friends for free, not because they have all the money but they understand that not everything is about buying and selling. These people are coming to celebrate with you, at least let that one enter your head kwanu.

Judy

I see nothing wrong with asoebi, but my problem with asoebi sellers is the exorbitant price – like I don’t understand. They forget that the asoebi ladies will still transport themselves to the location, and most times provisions for feeding and accommodation are not even made for them, they’d still buy matching shoes (these days) and make matching hairstyles plus the face beat they’d still pay for and after all these expenses, not even rubber sieve will be given to them as souvenir…o wrong na.

Also, bride to be should stop beefing their friends or acquaintances who can’t afford or choose not to buy the asoebi. It’s nice having friends and acquaintances wear matching outfits for you on your big day, so yes asoebi can be sold to support the bride on her big day but the bride should also make necessary arrangements for the ladies…tankio!

Dozie

This issue is something that the bride should know how to navigate. You know your friends and their capabilities? You can’t tell someone earning 30k a month to give you 50k just for asoebi… courtesy demands you subsidize the fee so as to make it cheaper for them since you will be the one needing their help and not the other way round.

Thanks

Cheena

It depends on your level. If I carry 50k Ashoebi come here, nobody go answer me 😴. So let me talk from my level. Asoebi is fine but if we buy Asoebi finish, kindly make provision for us. That is, food, clear view at the reception and fine souvenir

I cannot buy Asoebi more than 20K. I feel happy buying Asoebi especially if you be my Gee. If you are not my Gee, I’ll be thinking you waka loss

 

Why do they keep buying if they find the price exorbitant? (Suffering and Smiling)

Kamilla

Because people don’t like being sincere to themselves. They don’t know where to draw the line between friends and acquaintances. Also the fear of being the odd man out.

Oluchi

They don’t want to be their friend’s enemy, but I will be your enemy in Peace.

Judy

Husband hunting my dear! Husband hunting!!

 

 

EXPERIENCES

Chioma

This ASOEBI also affects the male not only female, because I have seen a man pay 55,000 for ASOEBI.

 

Rejoice

A school mate was planning her wedding for a while, she took 10k from us (till now they never do wedding), and so I had to remove sentiments and asked her to please pay me my money. She stopped talking to me. Me I send kwanu? (But we talk once in a while now). She said the 10k is for material and sewing. Then I asked her to show me the material, abi asoebis are not supposed to see their material?

Later she said the tailor had it, so I asked for the tailor’s number she said tailor no get smart phone, I mean this was someone I rap with one on one, mehn! I nearly entered bus go her state o and I was hunting for the husband’s number to tell them give me my money re-invite me when they are ready.

Story cut short, it took me months for my money to come back to me. Finally I use the money to enter Onitsha 😀😀😀

Andili

I remember when someone told me 2 yards of lace is 20,000 with gele 25,000 😂😂😂

What will I use 2 yards to sew??? I will have to buy material to add … Told the lady I will wear what I have to her big day.

 

Oluchi

Imagine! One didn’t say thank you to us or ask if we ate. She came to the group to accuse of stealing her jewelry

 

Judy

I don buy aso ebi 25k before when I was serving (yes, I was once stupid). This girl didn’t make any reservations for us pertaining accommodation, we also had to buy our own food.

After bridal shower the next day, we all went home cause nobody budgeted for extra expenses. This girl had the guts to text us on the whatsapp group that she created for the asoebi that were wicked, yen yen yen. I just had to exit that group and I said to myself never again.Had to give out that cloth cause each time I remember how much I spent and I didn’t even get to wear it, e still dey pain me.

I was in Enugu then and the wedding was in Asaba

 

Thalia

I brought someone to a friend’s shop, I follow see prices o. She inflated her prices, in the name of she’s not working, she needs to cover extra charges. Na so material of 1350 a yard, take reach12k for 3 yards.

I followed her for market runs o, gave a heavy discount for makeup as per childhood friends, me thinking this babe will even sell mine at the price she got it, she refused o, that I must buy 12k like others, e cos big fuss, she even deducted it before sending my balance, I go tailor, tailor charged 15k to sew (e still dey tailor hand since 2020 December 😏).

I took the material, allowed her have her way before I become the witch that was against her marriage, I sha wore my statement jumpsuit to d wedding, but that brought an end to d friendship, like this she’s at arm’s length, can never be the same.

Make I buy your aseobi, u no gimme food or souvenir (nne we go dig am, I will drag u😩). It’s one thing to buy aseobi, It’s another to sew. Have matching shoe and purse. Pay for makeup/gele /jewellery, transport still spray money, still contribute to buy gift 😒. The last one I did at osuofia 120k d men paid 😂🤣 for dog head. We ladies paid 20k.

(Thalia must have a handful of experiences.)

Ginika

My last asoebi experience was not funny o. We already paid for material (lace), gele, and hand fan. We travelled a day before the event, one of us was asked to enter kitchen if we are hungry that night. Then the next morning from 6am till 5pm, none of her relatives gave us food to eat. Anyone you ask they’ll say go and meet who invited you. We asked the bride, she said her head don full.

Forget about the rest of the story, cos I found a cooler of chicken laps and took some home.

Hope

My cousin was saying something about his asoebi being 50k and I was only calculating how much value he has contributed to my life…cloth I’ll just dump after 8 hours.

Na only one person for my family know say I fit buy asoebi when she dey marry. The rest already know they’re either giving it to me free or simply going to hell.

I almost use Ankara wipe one aunty like that when she came with one rubber rubber Ankara with her own price to give my dad. I told him to give her back the material, if he feels like helping them with money it shouldn’t be under the guise of buying some silly material for person wey don die. He sha paid for it on a later date after still contributing his own quota to the burial. Mtcheww

 

Burial asoebi don make me know how people are related in this my area even after burial. 😂😂😂

Na burial cloth people get for this area. In a day you go see about 3 people wearing the same Ankara material.

 

Luchy

During my Traditional Wedding, I bought the fabrics I could afford; Lace & Gele, and gave it out FOR FREE to my Asoebi ladies. They were 16 in total, 2 groups of 8 ladies each. I also made hotel bookings for the Aso-Ebi ladies that were coming from afar. If I were richer, I’d have given them N20k each for sewing. I do NOT succumb to the idea of selling fabrics for Aso-Ebi. Worst are those who buy low quality laces of N500 per yard and sell them for N5,000 per yard or more. You rip off your friends as a condition to attend your wedding. If you must sell Aso-Ebi fabrics, sell for the actual price you bought them. Your wedding is NOT a business or bazaar for you.

Anyway, I don’t blame you people. It’s the people who buy your fabrics at ridiculous prices that I blame. The fact that your friends are going to pay transport and hotel bills, spend time and money and their resources on you is enough honor. The ripping off in the name of selling Aso-Ebi is unnecessary.

Also, KNOW YOUR FRIENDS AND THEIR FINANCIAL CAPACITY. If your friends are University students, I don’t see why you should try to sell them N50k or N100K Aso-Ebi. At most, N10k Aso-Ebi should do for University students. There are lots of nice laces you can buy for N2k per yard; N8k for 4 yards plus N2k gele.

But, if you work in a multinational company where you and you colleagues each earn over N500k per month, then your friends can afford a more expensive fabric. These things require you to USE YOUR BRAIN.

I made up my mind before I got married that of I cannot give out fabrics for free, then no Aso-Ebi. The Aso-Ebi thing sef is not compulsory. Although it’s beautiful to see your friends in uniform supporting you on your big day. If you can’t afford Aso-Ebi, wear one of your nice clothes and attend your family, friend or relative’s wedding.

If they say “no Aso-Ebi, no wedding”, then just know they are stewpid. Stay in your house and sleep that day, or use the time and energy on something else, more productive.

When people attend your wedding, they are doing you a favor and honor. Stop acting like your wedding is the “Festival of Life” where long life and prosperity is being given out. Instead of you to plan your wedding according to your budget, you want to use selling of Aso-Ebi to extort people to fund a wedding you can’t afford.

REACTION TO EXPERIENCES

 

Ladywhyte

This one na pure wickedness o people should learn to plan their ceremony according to their capacity. You must want everything whereas you can’t foot the bill. Imagine not having a reservation for your bridal train that came from another state to grace your occasion.  People get mind o.

Adambano

Ashoebi girls suppose get separate souvenirs, food and special attention.

Oluchi

Anybody who extorts people who came to celebrate with her does not deserve God’s Blessings

Here comes the end of this episode, No go do pass yourself. Meanwhile, feel free to join the conversation by dropping your opinion or sharing your experiences in the comment section. Do not forget to like or share.

You can reach us through the WhatsApp icon on the homepage.

Thank you for reading us.